yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
