Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize