ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
