I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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