Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
