So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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