Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
