How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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