how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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