I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize