take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
