I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
