her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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