why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
