too bad you live with your parents still
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
