he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
