I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
