Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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