Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
