Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
