That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
