I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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