the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
