youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He better not be in your backpack
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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