I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
