WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
