just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
