using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm like, not good at living.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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