You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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