i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
