Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
