never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
