Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
