I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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