You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
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