I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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