I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
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Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
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My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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