Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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