Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
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I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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