Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
