Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I AM VODKA MAN
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize