I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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