hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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