we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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