just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
