I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
