I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
