I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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