so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I wish you could order shots online.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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