Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
