I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
