we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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