Don't you send me to vm
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Randomize
