Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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