Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize