the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
