Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
