Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
