My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
