no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
