It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
