Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?

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(912): View more from Georgia

He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.

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(415): View more from California

had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(402): View more from Nebraska

He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,

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(778): View more from British Columbia

He should be castrated

(604): View more from British Columbia

Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons

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(310): View more from California

I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.

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(563): View more from Iowa

Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.

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