ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
