I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP