I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Randomize
