Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with

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  (415): I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with http://tfl.nu/jobl
  Replies (82) Good night (2534) Bad night (2148)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.

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  (503): So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video. http://tfl.nu/od0z
  Replies (17) Good night (4910) Bad night (727)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself

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  (253): I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself http://tfl.nu/cpen
  Replies (21) Good night (4589) Bad night (921)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.

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  (847): Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better. http://tfl.nu/ewir
  Replies (17) Good night (3309) Bad night (802)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.

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  (727): I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake. http://tfl.nu/tfkj
  Replies (12) Good night (5584) Bad night (1208)
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  (714): View more from California

  So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.

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  (714): So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life. http://tfl.nu/wgtn
  Replies (32) Good night (1122) Bad night (5730)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever

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  (305): The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever http://tfl.nu/qxjf
  Replies (17) Good night (4302) Bad night (1448)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.

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  (703): I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave. http://tfl.nu/udrq
  Replies (4) Good night (2227) Bad night (900)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face

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  (248): Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face http://tfl.nu/s7dy
  Replies (12) Good night (707) Bad night (1995)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?

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  (509): Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills? http://tfl.nu/9geb
  Replies (5) Good night (1252) Bad night (533)
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  (876): View more from Jamaica

  i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend

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  (876): i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend http://tfl.nu/snpm
  Replies (9) Good night (834) Bad night (504)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.

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  (563): I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud. http://tfl.nu/0vsx
  Replies (9) Good night (1309) Bad night (669)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.

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  (309): His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/bv47
  Replies (7) Good night (731) Bad night (480)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible

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  (801): Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible http://tfl.nu/ks54
  Replies (3) Good night (447) Bad night (270)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited

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  (419): Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited http://tfl.nu/eyjk
  Replies (3) Good night (820) Bad night (363)

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