Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.