Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(253): View more from Washington

I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(253): I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then. http://tfl.nu/hci4

Replies (9) Good night (2257) Bad night (538)
Favorite
(770): View more from Georgia

If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(770): If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day. http://tfl.nu/zol0

Replies (37) Good night (3999) Bad night (611)
Favorite
(678): View more from Georgia

yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(678): yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her. http://tfl.nu/rtst

Replies (58) Good night (8501) Bad night (1017)
Favorite
(574): View more from Indiana

I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(574): I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself. http://tfl.nu/2lez

Replies (24) Good night (1153) Bad night (7168)
Favorite
(609): View more from New Jersey

He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(609): He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night. http://tfl.nu/520f

Replies (31) Good night (2578) Bad night (7208)
Favorite
(503): View more from Oregon

I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(503): I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team http://tfl.nu/ke7v

Replies (42) Good night (6072) Bad night (978)
Favorite
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(412): I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong. http://tfl.nu/sjar

Replies (25) Good night (691) Bad night (3155)
Favorite
(425): View more from Washington

It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(425): It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down. http://tfl.nu/xg1z

Replies (7) Good night (5733) Bad night (1835)
Favorite
(740): View more from Ohio

his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(740): his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis http://tfl.nu/cmya

Replies (5) Good night (874) Bad night (2922)
Favorite
(516): View more from New York

I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(516): I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card http://tfl.nu/zhem

Replies (7) Good night (2693) Bad night (1186)
Favorite
(203): View more from Connecticut

The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(203): The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward. http://tfl.nu/eiym

Replies (6) Good night (743) Bad night (1755)
Favorite
(561): View more from Florida

But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(561): But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain http://tfl.nu/nmgo

Replies (0) Good night (428) Bad night (209)
Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share. http://tfl.nu/qyzo

Replies (0) Good night (477) Bad night (247)
Favorite
(631): View more from New York

So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(631): So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone http://tfl.nu/jbdz

Replies (1) Good night (461) Bad night (346)
Favorite
(989): View more from Michigan

I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(989): I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters. http://tfl.nu/zgo1

Replies (10) Good night (826) Bad night (202)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: