That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
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Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
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we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs